it's that time again.

I think this might be the one and only post and write this week. That makes me a little sad:( but it's the truth.

Today is like the calm before the storm. Because this week I have an exam, a huge assignment due, a church-wide leaders meeting, bible study, a workshop, not to mention a normal week of lectures....arrgh. I can just feel the pressure!

This kinda sums it up nicely.

Every moment feels like the clock is ticking and as more time passes, the louder and more obnoxious it gets. Taunting me with the thought that it's going to run out before I get to the finish line. I think that somehow the institution that is the university, takes immense pleasure with bombarding its students with deadlines that are so close together. It's all rather a blur of words and ideas for me at the moment - a few weeks to go then - FREEDOM (aka holidays). Somehow, that thought makes it worth getting through the seemingly endless amount of work that needs to be done between now and then. Once it's done, I'll be able to sit back, relax, enjoy a book and a cuppa curled up on the couch. Ahh, perfect on miserable winter days. Might even take a weekend break somewhere...nice.

ta-da!

Welcome to my new look blog!! What do you think? I've given myself a make-over. Every girl loves a good make-over from time to time. I have recently been "browsing" the internet looking at some really amazing blog backgrounds that were freely avaliable. I had no intention of changing my page...until I started trying some of them out! I really got into it. And being me, not just anything pretty will do. I had a few things on my "list". It had to be blue. Check. It had to be soft and feminine. Check. And it couldn't be too busy and OTT. Check. I love it! And while I was at it, I went all out and added some buttons and things on the side too. Well, that was my excitment for this otherwise uneventful Thursday night. Hope you like:) And don't be at all surprised to see other random and unexplained changes to various things. I tend to get carried away just for the fun of it all.

scent of a rose.

I'm looking at a beautiful white rose that my mother cut from our garden. She had put it in a vase and delivered it to me in my room along with a glass of guava juice as I was awakening this morning. Now, it's afternoon and my room is filled with its scent. And such an amazing scent too. I don't think I could really do justice to this particular rose's beauty, so I'll cheat and show you a picture.


This particular rose has got me thinking about influence. Our lives say something. Even if we aren't public figures or celebrities (which I don't quite see the attraction of), we emanate something of ourselves onto the people we encounter in our everyday lives. I hope that others will smell the sweet scent of God's goodness and blessing on my life. That my love for him is by no means religion, but an eager and willing choice to surrender who I am and become more like Him. That is the most beautiful form of influence.

visions of 2020.

Thank you, Abbie, for awarding me with my first ever blog award! It made my day. In order to accept this particular award, I need to say where I see myself in ten years time. Well, that seems such a long time away. However, from previous experience on the contemplation of this question, it's not really such a long time in the grand scheme of things. It's really only an elusion!

So, where do I see myself in ten years time? It's now 2010, it will be 2020. It does seem odd to be thinking about 2020. So futuristic! (It is, silly - it's in the future). I would like to think by the time ten years have passed, I'm a wife and a stay-at-home mother with about two or three kids with one on the way...but how am I to know. Where I'd really like to be is exactly where God wants me to be, whether that means married with kids or doing a great job that I love, or just a job that I do. But besides the reality of my situation in life, whatever that may be, I would like to be a woman of faith, an illustration of God's goodness and faithfulness and above all, I'd just like to walk in all that God has for me. Sometimes that's a scary thought, since I don't know what that will be. But thankfully he does.

So yeah, that's where I'd like to be in ten years. I wonder what I'll acually be doing?

P.S. Abbie has a fantastic blog, which is on the list as one of my favourites! You should definitely check her out. There's a link in the sidebar. The very cool one which says "Abbie Writes". Or you can click here.

Oh yes, and one more thing. In order to get this award, I'm meant to tag others to do it too. But I don't have anyone to tag as of yet, so if you're here and you'd like to share where you see yourself in ten years - I tag YOU!! Go for it, just let me know so I can read all about it.

autumn loveliness.

Summer is well and truely over and I've been dreading the change of season. I've been wanting to keep the refreshing summer breezes and the long hours of extra sunlight the summer months afford us. Those few additional hours of sunshine give time at the end of the day to enjoy a walk after dinner or an outing to the beach...but no longer. Now it gets dark before six. But with the change of season, come other pleasures to enjoy. Winter means hats and gloves, scarves, boots, hot tea, a warm and cosy house to walk into while the weather sometimes rages angrily outside, and best of all - staying in bed with a book on a saturday morning! But now I'm jumping ahead of myself because we're not quite into the thick of winter just yet. Autumn really is one of my favourite seasons. The weather is mild and nature treats us to a display of splendor that rivals even the loveliest, sunshiniest summer. This week I've been enjoying the autumny beauty that's on show in Christchurch. Although pictures never do justice to the real thing, hopefully these give you an idea of what I'm on about!

teddy bear.

A bear, however hard he tries,

Grows tubby without exercise.
Our Teddy Bear is short and fat,

Which is not to be wondered at;

He gets what exercise he can
By falling off the ottoman,

But generally seems to lack

The energy to clamber back.

Now tubbiness is just the thing

Which gets a fellow wondering;

And Teddy worried lots about

The fact that he was rather stout.

He thought: "If only I were thin!

But how does anyone begin?"

He thought: "It really isn't fair

To grudge one exercise and air."

For many weeks he pressed in vain

His nose against the window-pane,

And envied those who walked about

Reducing their unwanted stout.

None of the people he could see

"Is quite" (he said) "as fat as me!"
Then, with a still more moving sigh,
"I mean" (he said) "as fat as I!

Now Teddy, as was only right,
Slept in the ottoman at night,
And with him crowded in as well
More animals than I can tell;
Not only these, but books and things,
Such as a kind relation brings --
Old tales of "Once upon a time,"
And history retold in rhyme.

One night it happened that he took
A peep at an old picture-book,
Wherein he came across by chance
The picture of a King of France
(A stoutish man) and, down below,
These words: "King Louis So and So,
Nicknamed 'The Handsome!'" There he sat,
And (think of it!) the man was fat!

Our bear rejoiced like anything
To read about this famous King,
Nicknamed "The Handsome." There he sat,
And certainly the man was fat.
Nicknamed "The Handsome." Not a doubt
The man was definitely stout.
Why then, a bear (for all his tub)
Might yet be named "The Handsome Cub!"

"Might yet be named." Or did he mean
That years ago he "might have been"?
For now he felt a slight misgiving:
"Is Louis So and So still living?
Fashions in beauty have a way
Of altering from day to day.
Is 'Handsome Louis' with us yet?
Unfortunately I forget."
Next morning (nose to window-pane)
The doubt occurred to him again.
One question hammered in his head:
"Is he alive or is he dead?"
Thus, nose to pane, he pondered; but
The lattice window, loosely shut,
Swung open. With one startled "Oh!"
Our Teddy disappeared below.

There happened to be passing by
A plump man with a twinkling eye,
Who, seeing Teddy in the street,
Raised him politely to his feet,
And murmured kindly in his ear
Soft words of comfort and of cheer:
"Well, well!" "Allow me!" "Not at all."
"Tut-tut! A very nasty fall."

Our Teddy answered not a word;
It's doubtful if he even heard.
Our bear could only look and look:
The stout man in the picture-book!
That 'handsome' King - could this be he,
This man of adiposity?
"Impossible," he thought. "But still,
No harm in asking. Yes I will!"

"Are you," he said,"by any chance
His Majesty the King of France?"
The other answered, "I am that,"
Bowed stiffly, and removed his hat;
Then said, "Excuse me," with an air,
"But is it Mr Edward Bear?"
And Teddy, bending very low,
Replied politely, "Even so!"

They stood beneath the window there,
The King and Mr Edward Bear,
And, handsome, if a trifle fat,
Talked carelessly of this and that....
Then said His Majesty, "Well, well,
I must get on," and rang the bell.
"Your bear, I think," he smiled. "Good-day!"
And turned, and went upon his way.

A bear, however hard he tries,
Grows tubby without exercise.
Our Teddy Bear is short and fat,
Which is not to be wondered at.
But do you think it worries him
To know that he is far from slim?
No, just the other way about -
He's proud of being short and stout.
//--//

A poem by A.A. Milne

the lost art of conversation.

I worked over the weekend. Just for a few hours. But while I was there, I got myself to wondering about the art of small talk. I'm afraid I just don't have it. I don't possess the ability to carry on for a long period of time about nothing at all. For that is what it is, you know! Just an endless flow of "how are you's" and "good thank you's", all just utterly nonsense things until, if continued for long enough, it finally leads to an interesting conversation with a bit more depth and insight. I find it's usually the kind of person that I'm talking to that determines how far into the nothings need to be spoken before moving on to more intellectual, brain-cell using, really know another person's thought on a subject kind of conversation. Sadly though, I know far too many people who hover over that small talk precipace for far too long and before they know it, that's all they know as to how to carry on a conversation.

Here is an except from the very amusing conversation that Eliza Doolittle has to everybody when she goes to the races. She truely has the talent where I do not because she could just go on and on...

"It's the new small talk, you do it so awfully well."

Mrs. Eynsford-Hill: I do hope we wont have any unseasonable cold spells, they bring on so much influenza. And the whole of our family is succeptable to it.

Eliza Doolittle: My Aunt died of influenza, or so they said. But its my belief they done the old woman in.

Mrs. Higgings: Done her in?

Eliza Doolittle: Yes, lord love you. Why should she die of influenza, when she come through diptheria right enough the year before. Fairly blue with it she was. They all thought she was dead. But my father, he kept ladling gin down her throat. Then she come to so sudden she bit the bowl right off the spoon.

Mrs. Eynsford-Hill: Dear Me!

Eliza Doolittle: Now what call would a woman with that strength in her have to die of influenza? And what become of her new straw hat that should have come to me? [pause]

Eliza Doolittle: Somebody pinched it. And what I say is: them 'as pinched it, done her in. Lord Boxington: Done her in? Done her in did you say?

Lady Boxington: Whatever does it mean?

Mrs. Higgins: Its the new slang meaning someone has killed her.

Mrs. Eynsford-Hill: Surely you don't think someone killed her?

Eliza Doolittle: Do I not? Them she lived with would have killed her for a hatpin, let alone a hat.

Mrs. Eynsford-Hill: But it can't have been right for your father to be pouring spirits down her throat like that, it could have killed her.

Eliza Doolittle: Not her, gin was mother's milk to her. Besides he poured so much down his own throat, he knew the good of it. Lord Boxington: Do you mean he drank?

Eliza Doolittle: Drank? My word something chronic.

[responding to freddy's laughter]

Eliza Doolittle: Here! What are you sniggering at?

Freddy Eynsford-Hill: The new small talk, you do it so awfully well.

Eliza Doolittle: Well if I was doing it proper, what was you sniggering at? Have I said anything I oughtn't?

Mrs. Higgins: No my dear.

Eliza Doolittle: Well, thats a mercy anyhow...

loss.

Less than a week ago, there was a tragedy that took that lives of three young men. I will not go into detail other than to say it was a very unexpected accident and that it made the national news. Of course, I thought it was a very sad story. But it did not affect me other than thinking it was a terrible thing to happen and shat a horrible thing for the family members to find out. A day after the incident, I recieved a phone call from a good friend to tell me she had just watched the news and found out about the accident. She sounded very shocked. It was a complete juxtaposition from my calm demeanour on the other end of the line. However, I too found myself in a state of disbelief when she said, "Did you know that was ____'s brother that died?". I could not help but freeze where I was and ask, "Are you sure?". Our friend had just lost his brother. What an aweful realization. My stomach dropped. It was no longer just a story in the news. No longer just a tragic accident that was sad but had no direct affect on me. It was close to home. Even though I had never met the person who died, his brother was someone I knew. How I grieved for his loss. My heart cried. I could not, still cannot, fathom how deep they were hurting at the loss of so close a family member. Grief, I understand. Everyone has encountered grief at some time or another . I have known grief. Yet grief and loss are two things that are intertwined but seperate. I, who have known grief can never know what they have lost. Just as they can never understand what I have lost. Loss is personal. Loss is something that when gone, cannot be filled. Yet, having experienced loss in my own life, it gives me the tiniest glimpse into what my friend and his family are living through at the moment. I pray contiunually that God would bring comfort to them in their time of loss. He is the only one that really, truely, knows. He knows the things we do not even how to describe in words. He knows what we have lost. "...the Lord is a God who knows..." 1 Sam 2:3. He knows.