optimistic thoughts on death.

I think I know what it's like to die.

Wow, that's serious. Do you want to know what I mean?

I've got whooping cough. Arrrgh, and I hate having it. Most of the time, I feel like I need to suppress the urge to cough because when I do, I cough on the exhale and can't draw breathe on the inhale. It's horrible. The first time it happen was at night. I woke up in a spasm of coughing and when trying to breathe in, discovered that I couldn't and then sort of, panicked. Well, not sort of - I did panic. Wouldn't you, if you found yourself unable to breathe? I got up, all the while struggling for air - my poor lungs - and went to find my mother. Who better to go to in a crisis than your mother? I have never been more thankful that I still live in my parents house than at that moment! She had heard me coming (I could have woken an entire heard of elephants with my commotion. And the more I couldn't breathe, the more I panicked and the more I panicked, the more I couldn't inhale any air in. Oh dear. But as you see, I am still here, otherwise I would not be writing this. My lovely mother helped me calm down and finally I could slowly begin to calm down. As I calmed, it became easier to breathe.

Since that 'episode', whenever I get a spasm of coughing, I need to drink water to make sure it doesn't continue to the point where I can't get any air into my lungs. So everywhere I go, to university, to church, to meet a friend, I take a water bottle. To ensure my survival;) And when I go to sleep, there is water next to my bed. Guaranteed, by morning it will be finished. (Maybe that's why I have such good skin at the moment).

I've always had a fear of dying a painful death. Not a fear of death itself, but of a painful death. I got a bit of an insight into what it would be like to die. (This is all very morose, isn't it?) I hope that my death (which is hopefully not for a very long time) will be peaceful. But who knows? Maybe I feel differently when I'm an old lady of 90 something. Maybe it would be good to go out with a bang! On the bright side, we would all have a good laugh about it when we get to heaven and say "I don't know what I was so scared of, that was great. Now I'm here!".

Note: When I do die, whenever that may be, I don't want a really sad funeral. That would just be so depressing. I don't think my death will be a sad occasion (for me anyway). I want it to be like a party that celebrates my being home with Jesus.

night lights - part one.

I've been thinking for awhile that I'd like to do a photo series on some of the night shots I have. I find lights the most intriguing thing at night because my camera can't really focus long enough to freeze the image. So, my photos taken at night have all got a really cool, funky, creative feel to them. So here goes...

These were taken about a year and a half ago on a trip to South Africa, a place where I was born and also where most of my extended family still live. Myself, my mum, my aunt and my cousin had road-tripped from Johannesburg down to the lovely (although extremely hot and muggy) city of Port Elizabeth. I happened to spend my younger days growing up in this city and our trip brought back many happy memories. We decided to make a visit one evening to the waterfront and pier that the city was so well-known for.

Enjoy!

The great South African institution that is the Wimpy! I can't tell you

how much I love this place. Waffles, ice cream, coffee, burgers...hmm.

And the one and only creme-sode float, which is a delicious green

(I know that sounds weird, but trust me, it's good) soda with generous

scoops of ice cream served in a tall glass.

Happy Valley - it's a happy place.

Under the sea (a disney song jumps into my head!)

The pier

Having fun with our shadows being cast on the sandy beach

And just across the road from the beach, this lovely place

a moment to breathe.

It's quiet now. There are no more bumps and thumps, no more evidence of other people inhabiting the house in which I live. Doors have been closed and lights extinguished. Heads have been laid down on soft, downy pillows. All I can hear now is the quiet hum of my laptop, the tapping of my fingers as they hit the keys, the heater on the other side of my wall producing a low droning noise as it pumps out warm air. And outside, the gentle pitter-patter of raindrops as they plop against the roof and my window-pane. It's a lovely sound. Much lovelier than the angry wind, which whistles loudly as it shoves its way past, rudely shaking the trees and shrubs in its impatience. Yet together the wind and the rain make a sort of music together. One compliments the other, at times even giving each other a turn for a solo before the other enters again as though part of a symphony. I don't know much about music, or how orchestras work. I don't need to. Tonight I'm captivated by the music outside my window. It's beautiful.

Sometimes we need to stop and take a moment. After all, what would our lives be without the time to enjoy the small, seemingly insignificant things? Life get's busy. Hectic. It's important to find moments in the everyday to breathe. It uplifts us. It takes us from the mundane and ordinary to the precious and extraordinary. Tonight, my moment to breathe has taken the form of listening to the beauty of God's outdoor symphony. What's yours?

of comfort and of cheer.

Soft, warm and cuddly - that's what they are! There is not a lovelier feeling on earth at this very moment than to be "wrapped" in my nice, new pyjamas. They aren't faded and thin from wear, not just something to put on at bedtime - tonight, they're an occasion. Maybe not to you, but to me they are! And this occasion warrants a nice cup of steaming hot tea. Ah, my heart is warmed just with the thought. With icy-cold weather outside my window, there's no place I'd rather be than in bed, with my cup of tea in a pair of cosy new pyjamas.

*Sigh*

Goodnight.

My cup of tea (with pjs in the background - aren't they colourful?)

P.S. I can't believe that my pyjamas have just become blogworthy! I almost hesitate publishing this little piece of randomness. I don't know whether to be proud or ashamed. Hmm...

a break from the busy.

Sitting down in front of my computer is finally a joy again. I've spent so much time over the last week or more staring at the screen wishing I could be anywhere but there. The workload has been epic! And I don't usually use a word like epic lightly. In this case, I must. It's the only truly fitting word. Today I completed an online test. For 50 minuets of my life, my brain was in a flat out rush to remember everything I had learnt. Since it's now over, I've semi-recovered, with a normal level of brain activity and a somewhat regular heart rate. I'm finally doing something much more pleasurable with my time.

Since my life has been so full of
business and serious study lately,
I thought I'd write a fun post here today.
Well, I really don't feel I have the energy
to think, let alone write something imaginative and creative. So I'll share a little treasure I found while randomly browsing the internet. It's Pride and Prejudice in emoticons. A warning though, if you know the story, you'll most likely love it, or at least find it mildly entertaining. If you don't, I'm afraid it's not going to made any sense at all.

Interested?

The trail leads here.